


Let's fight crime

by aliaslestat



Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Friendship, vigilantes get trashed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:23:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4560993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliaslestat/pseuds/aliaslestat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Dan and Ror get toasted and decide to fight crime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's fight crime

AU where Dan and Ror get so trashed they can barely stand and then try and fight crime. 

It had taken a lot of commitment and a lot of persuasion to even get Rorschach to come back to the Brownstone, even more persuasion to get him to come up the stairs and remove that absolutely filthy trench and jacket. Not to mention the blood stained gloves and kick off those muddy shoes. All in all getting Rorschach to cooperate was not an easy task and it had taken bribery of food and hot coffee and the chance to discuss tactics and different plans of attack that they could potentially use on their missions. Even though crime had been at a low point and they had been able to return from their patrols earlier than usual. 

Silk Spectre and Dr. Manhattan were taking wide surveillance and had promised to alert them if anything came up. Besides that it was far too hot for Dan to be out in his Owlsuit doing any sort of running around. The heat was part of the reason that he had been able to get Rorschach to come back with him in the first place. The promise of air conditioning and being able to cool off in the shower was too good for anyone to pass up, even rough and tough vigilantes, not that Rorschach would ever admit that. 

By now Daniel had made his way through the shower and had managed to coerce Rorschach into letting him wash his clothes with the trade off being that Rorschach would mend the tears in the lining of the Owlsuit for him. He would have done it anyway but the fact that there was some mutual trade off made them both feel good, well mostly Rorschach. But as long as Rorschach was content and not putting up a fuss than Dan was happy enough to let him go about his things the way he wanted too. 

Daniel was in the kitchen when Rorschach padded his way down the stairs leaning against the counter to watch what Daniel was doing, not that it was all that exciting. Unless he considered chopping carrots to be exciting, which he didn't. Maybe he could if he really thought about it but at the present moment watching Daniel chop carrots was probably the least stimulating thing he could possibly think of.

"Sorry bud, dinner isn't going to be for a while. I didn't expect to be home so early, I was just going to order in. But now that we have some time I'm going to make pasta, that sound good to you?" Daniel asked tossing a look over to Rorschach even though the black and white ever shifting mask seemed indifferent, the man beneath it nodded giving a soft roll of his shoulders. Daniel knew that Rorschach really didn't care what he was fed as long as there would be food on the plate, but it was still polite to ask he figured. 

"Laundry finished yet, Daniel?" He grumbled hiking the mask up over his nose, mouth set in a firm line as he waited for an answer.

"Rorschach, I literally put the laundry in," Daniel paused to check his watch, "Fifteen minutes ago. You're going to have to be patient buddy. And besides, you have nowhere to dash off to. Dinner isn't even half ready. Unless...you got a hot date or something. Than by all means, be free. You can borrow something."

Scruffy line of a mouth turned down at the edges and Rorschach scoffed a sound of disgust. "You know better than to assume I have a 'hot date'." He huffed finger quotes and all. 

Daniel couldn't help but laugh at the way he shoved himself off the counter to go and rummage through the fridge. Hearing the clinking of bottles and rustling of the packaging. Though he came up empty handed and looked over at Daniel as though he should somehow know exactly what he was thinking by the set of his shoulders and the one hand placed haphazardly on a hip. Of course Daniel knew what he was looking for and the fact that there was no soda since he had been trying to eat healthier. Less sugar more healthy foods. Which never set well with Rorschach since the other vigilante basically lived on a diet of coffee and sugar. 

"Sorry, there isn't any soda in the fridge. I've been trying to get a bit more in shape." Daniel shrugged throwing the vegetables into a pot on the stove as he continued to make their dinner. "There's beer in there though, if you want to try one of those." Daniel told him as he brushed past Rorschach to the fridge sticking his hands in to grab two of the cold bottles and placing them on the counter. Twisting the caps off and taking his, leaving the second one on the counter. 

"I do not drink, Daniel." Rorschach frowned and Dan could just tell he was eyeing the bottle as though it would jump out and hurt him. Clearly he spent far to much time with the fiery hero to be able to infer that just from how he was standing. Sheesh he really needed to get back in the dating scene and stop spending his nights playing Superman and then house with the Scourge of the Underworld. That was just fucked up. But at least he knew that Rorschach was eating well when he fed him, and that he was in a safe place when he went to sleep. Even though he did insist on sleeping on the emergency cot down in the basement. 

"I know, I just thought I would offer is all. You understand, good hostmanship and all that jazz." Come to think of it though if he was trying to get his diet back on track he might want to cut out the beer. "Look, after I've finished with this case, I promise. Only drinks on special occasions. No more after patrols. I don't want to be one of those guys in spandex with a beer gut."

That managed to draw a snort of laughter from Rorschach and Dan cocked a crooked smile, focusing more on the task at hand than being distracted by the way Rorschach was shifting foot to foot and tugging at the sleeves of his borrowed grey sweater (since he refused to be in anything less than full body coverage, even though Daniel had seen every inch of him besides his face thanks to their multiple injuries) he could tell that the other was deep in thought and the silence was starting to grow heavy. Daniel was expecting a full blown lecture about the detriments of drinking and its affects on the human body and cognitive function but, much to his surprise Rorschach picked the bottle up and held it to his face for a moment. Inspecting the label before a wry grin stretched over his face, that look always made Daniel feel like he was about to be eaten alive and it made him half glad that Rorschach usually wore a mask. 

"Canadian beer, Daniel?" He huffed, tipping the bottle to his lips before Dan could get a word in edge wise to defend himself. That, hey, it was the same type of beer his father drank. And also, what Hollis liked to drink so of course He was going to drink the same kind. But all those lovely words were lost as Rorschach walked by, knocking him with hips as he passed, "Traitor."

Really Dan had expected more of a stink to be put up over whatever indecencies drinking beer from the neighbouring country he had brought upon himself but Rorschach seemed content enough to just let it slide for now. Maybe it was the heat, or he was just tired, or he didn't want to offend Dan enough that he wouldn't feed him. Either way Dan was glad to have gotten out of a scolding of sorts so that he could finish making their food. 

"Suppose it would be only polite to help you finish your problem." Rorschach chirped from off near the corner of the kitchen where he had been leafing through one of Daniels ornithology books and inspecting owl figurines.

"Huh? Oh yeah, yeah sure buddy. You can help me with my 'problem' all you want. Though I doubt you're going to be very much help." Dan should have known he was getting himself into trouble right there, how dare he question Rorschach's ability to help with anything. "A guy your size? Who doesn't drink? Nah, but thanks."

And that was how an hour or so later the pair had would up on the couch, dinner long since eaten and half way through a twelve pack. Dirty dishes still on the coffee table and the television set to low, because believe it or not. Rorschach was telling stories. And not just boring case stories, he was actually sharing, and some of the stuff he had been through was absolutely hilarious. Which was why Dan was doing his best to hold back snorts of laughter as Rorschach embellished on his current story, hands tittering through the air as he spoke. For someone usually so stoic and cold when he got talking, he really got talking.

"Rose petals, Daniel. He threw rose petals in my face. There was no crime! Just a man dressed in a cupids costume throwing rose petals at people and proclaiming they would fall in love." He chirped, still sounding disbelieving of his own story. "First thought it was one of Twilight Lady's minions and that the flowers were a sort of...of..." He grasped at the air for the word.

"Aphrodisiac?" Daniel offered. 

"Yes! But they were not. Every citizen was just as confused as I was, it was strange." Rorschach shrugged hands upturned. 

"It sounds strange bud, I don't really get people like that now that we're partners. Guess you scared them all away." Dan grinned opening them both another beer as Rorschach continued to speak, he was going to hate him in the morning and probably not talk to him for some time but this would be totally worth it. 

They never got to sit and talk like this before, he was always so serious and so distant. Sure they talked, but this was partnership and camaraderie, this was what he had wanted since he had first started crime fighting and especially since he had started his timid partnership with the Scourge of the Underworld, because who wouldn't want to be friends with someone that could make criminals drop information at the mere mention of having to call Rorschach down. 

The phone ringing brought their conversation to a halt though and Dan staggered to his feet wavering slightly before he got to the phone and picked it up. Cradling the gaudy yellow plastic against his ear, Laurie's voice crackling through from the other side.

"Dan? There's some suspicious activity down by the eastern docks, I know that's not too far from where your access tunnel lets out. Can you and Rorschach...if he's even still around, go and check it out?" She called speaking far louder than Dan felt was needed.

"Yeah, yeah if course. He's still here. We will get on it right away. Thanks for calling." He closed the connection hand hanging onto the plastic for a moment longer than he needed too. Why the hell did he agree to do that? She could have called someone else if he had just told her than the pair of them were far too drunk to be going out anywhere that needed saving. But he also knew Rorschach would kill him if he let her call Adrian. After all Rorschach was very possessive of the territory he had carved out around the docks since it was mostly the Comedians stomping grounds and the two had squared off at one point over an investigation that branched across both their places. 

"Rorschach. We're going investigating." He told the other man who's gaze he could feel absolutely burning holes in the back of his head, "come on suit up. Your clothes should be done."

Rorschach stood rockingly to his feet shuddering for a moment and swaying before he collapsed back down in a fit of laughter.

"Daniel, not a good idea, intoxication levels are...very high." He snickered and Dan couldn't help but join in on the laughter. Because really they were both toasted and now they were going to try and be heroes. What could possibly go wrong.

"Look we just need to go and scare some punks off that are messing around the docks. Laurie didn't say anything about it being bad, just suspicious. Come one let's go have a look." Dan told him coming back and reaching down to grab the smaller mans hands and haul him up onto his feet. Which wasn't an easy task when Rorschach was easily 145 pounds of violent stringy muscle, but once he was on his feet he stayed there this time.

It took them both far longer than it should have to get down the stairs and into the basement and a fish in the laundry revealed that it was still damp, and by damp Dan meant that he had forgotten to turn the dryer on and the clothes were still soaking. 

"Don't worry bud, I always keep some back up clothes around here somewhere." He reassured though Rorschach looked extremely unhappy that he was going to have to go anywhere without his usual outfit. But he wasn't going to let that stand in his way of going out and scaring the hell out of some kids that were messing around on the docks. Didn't they know that it wasn't safe?

"Here, I know it isn't purple-"

"Violet, Daniel."

"Okay, I know it isn't violet, but it will have to do. I think these are close enough to your size." Daniel muttered as he threw down a black Lycra body suit onto the top of the washing machine. Along with a coat cut to resemble a birds form when it was crimped at the stomach. Mottled feather print infused into the canvas fabric and at that moment Daniel was very, very glad that Rorschach wore a mask, even though he could still feel the horrendous amount of judgment just washing off of him. 

"What? It was one of my first designs, back when I wasn't quite so...buff as I am now." Daniel squeaked already pulling on his back up suit. Sure it had a tear along the inner thigh from getting caught on razor wire but it was still functioning. Maybe Rorschach could sew it up for him later, that was if Rorschach ever bothered to come back.

"Come on, just put the damn thing on and let's go. The sooner we get out there the sooner we can come home and go to bed." Daniel told him.

For the longest moment Rorschach didn't even move, shoulders set hard and Daniel thought for sure he was going to put up and ugly fight about this. But the alcohol must have altered him enough since a shudder ran through his body followed by a snorted laugh as he pulled the sweater over his head and began to change. 

"Should change my name, we could be NiteOwl and the Owlet." Rorschach smirked, fastening the belt around his waist and and giving the whole outfit a rather nice fit and flare.

"Somehow I don't think you would be okay with being called 'Owlet'" Dan huffed shaking his head as he pulled the goggles over his eyes looking over to see Rorschach tying up the calf high boots that went with the suit. Even though they were too big for him but if it bothered Rorschach at all he didn't say a word. 

"Not particularly." Rorschach called already padding down the stairs by the time NiteOwl had finished clipping his armour into place. "Can not drive, must walk." He called over his shoulder pulling the mask down into place.

"Hey! Wait up!" Dan called stumbling after him and Dow the access tunnel after his partner, who considering how intoxicated he appeared to be was setting a jaunty pace over the railway tiles. He caught up to him soon enough and there was a companionable silence between them as they made their way to the last access hatch and up onto street level. 

Rorschach shouldering the man hole cover out of the way and offering Dan a hand once he was topside. The pair of them both slightly out of breath by the time they were standing on the asphalt roadway leading down to the docks. The sound of teenaged voices and spray aerosol cans filtering up from behind the warehouse. 

"Ready to scare some punks?" Dan asked turning to Rorschach with a grin on his face and Rorschach nodded. Striding down the slight decline to the loading docks with only a slight wobble here or there and Daniel was right behind him. 

Rounding the corner they saw the small group of teens, spray paint cans in hand and a mess of bright colours splattered over the red brickwork. They froze as soon as the pair rounded the corner and a few even ran. Ducking into the warehouse through a broken door a few feet away, but what appeared to be the leaders of the rag tag group stood their ground. Sneering at the inebriated vigilantes as she tossed the can to the ground. 

"What the fuck do you two think you're doing here? This ain't your neck of the woods, party clowns. Get lost." She barked fists balling up, already used to the rumours of Rorschach going off the wall and putting people in the ICU.

Daniel looked over at him, expecting the smaller man to leap straight into action and to have to hold him back. That never came though and instead a grating sound came from beneath the mask. Developing into full blown rough laughter as Rorschach came undone beside him. 

"Party clowns, NiteOwl. Not even close." Rorschach snickered much to the surprise of the girl and her gang and the NiteOwl himself. He wasn't sure whether the comparison had gone straight over Rorschach's head or if he was indeed making fun of the woman but either way it seemed to have shaken her up more than any rough words could have. 

"Rorschach?" Daniel asked hesitantly as Rorschach gripped onto his arm with a hand, steadying himself before he lunged at the group making them jolt back, "Get the hell out of here you little punks, next time I catch you messing up my turf you will not be leaving here intact." He snarled and Daniel was glad he had a grabbed a hold of his arm to help steady him before that because the second the kids turned and ran. Rorschach lost his balance and stumbled forward. 

"Got them good, NiteOwl. Real good." He laughed leaving Daniel to scoop him up and set him back on his feet again. 

"Yeah buddy, you sure did. I don't think they're going to be back here for a while. Not with you laughing like your possessed by the exorcist." Dan said looping an arm around his partners shoulders and for once Rorschach didn't tell him to shove off. 

"Heading back now?" Rorschach asked stifling a yawn with the back of his hand and Dan was able to catch the tail glimpses of the black pooling over his mouth and spreading along his cheek bones as the heat from his breath dispersed. 

"Yeah man, we'll see if we can finish off the rest of the case?" Dan offered not sure if Rorschach would be up to more drinking or if he was going to scurry back to wherever he came from as soon as he knew Daniel was safe back at home.

"Would not be a very good partner if I let you succumb to temptation all on your own, now would I?" He huffed shoving against him a little but not hard enough to send either of them sprawling. Just enough for them both to stumble a few steps and dissolve into laughter once again. 

The walk back to the nest seemed to take a lot longer than it usually did on account that they tried to find a closer access hatch and ended up dropping down into a sewer line and having to back track to the proper manhole. Eventually though they made it back and the pair disassembled their suits and threw back on their sweat clothes. Flopping back down on the couch to enjoy the rest of their evening since Rorschach still had so many more stories to tell about his solo days and Dan was more than happy to listen to anything he had to say. 

It was the late hours of the morning when Daniel finally said goodnight and headed up to his bed fully expecting Rorschach to be gone in the morning when he woke up. Even though he was fine with that and he had come to expect it, it was just part of what made Rorschach himself. At the very least he had gotten to have a night with his partner that he had wanted to do for so long. He was going to count himself lucky for that and perhaps it would happen again. After all there was the Crimebusters Christmas part to think about. 

When he woke it wasn't because he necessarily needed too but because of the noise coming from down stairs in the kitchen. Clinking of pots and pans and of the kettle starting to brew. Dan was concerned at first since he had no recollection of having anyone stay over and the thought that Rorschach would even be attempting to do anything in the kitchen was almost beyond him when he had just woken up and his head was foggy from drinking the night before. Not quite hungover but still a little wobbly. 

Yawning he padded down the stairs tying his robe up as he made his way into the kitchen pausing when he hit the threshold and having to rack his brain for an answer to who could be in his kitchen. Sweat pants hung loosely around boney hips and undershirt half untucked leaving heavily freckled arms and shoulders uncovered. Fiery red hair an unruly mess, but that jaw and nose brought Dan back down enough to not freak out. Even though now he was freaking out for a totally different reason, Rorschach was unmasked and in his kitchen making coffee and scrambling eggs. 

"Morning, Daniel. I was unsure if the bacon in your fridge was for guests or if you ate if. Left it there. Eggs?" Rorschach offered acting like it was no big deal that the Underworlds most feared vigilante was just hanging out in his kitchen making breakfast looking slightly disheveled and far more hungover than Dan himself was. 

This was a good thing though and he nodded, "Yeah, thanks man." He grinned heading over to the counter to pour himself a cup of coffee and try and wake up. "Eggs sound great."


End file.
